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Looking for girlfriend > 40 years > I want someone to love me so bad

I want someone to love me so bad

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I hear it quite often. While it might seem harmless on the surface, is it really? Everyone wants to feel cared for, appreciated, and truly madly loved. But this method of thinking about it is dangerous. This thought process could be what is leading some of us into bad relationships.

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‘I just want someone to love me’

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If you are a person who wants to be in a relationship, have you thought about why? Actually, there are two very different reasons for wanting a relationship. The first is about what you want to get, and the second is about what you want to learn and share. Complete them. They hope that their partner will give them what they are not giving to themselves and what they might not have received as children.

You might be thinking, "Right! Aren't these the reasons everyone wants a relationship? Why be in a relationship if not to be loved, cherished, made to feel special, safe and secure? What's the point of a relationship if not to fill me, take away my loneliness and make me feel okay about myself? The other reason for being in a relationship stems from the fact that relationships are the most fertile ground for learning about what is unhealed in us, and for having an arena to heal.

Most of us have baggage from childhood that we carry into our primary relationship -- such as fears of rejection and fears of engulfment. These fears generally get played out with a partner, which offers us an incredible opportunity to learn about and heal them. Relationship can be the Ph. Learning about your fears of intimacy, as well as about control issues that may surface with a primary partner, can lead to much personal growth -- enhancing your ability to love.

The more you learn to take responsibility for your own feelings -- learning to love yourself, cherish yourself, make yourself feel special and valued -- the more you may want a relationship in order to share your love rather than to get love. Contrary to what many believe, it's not the getting of love that takes away loneliness, but the sharing of love.

The most profound and beautiful experience in life is the sharing of love. But we can't share our love unless we are filled with love. When we learn to fill ourselves with love from our "Source" -- whatever that is for each person, such as nature, spirit, God, the energy of the universe -- then we come to our partner with inner fullness rather than with inner emptiness.

Rather than needing a partner to complete us, we desire to share our completeness with our partner. When two people come together to get love rather than to learn, heal and share love, there is a strong possibility that their relationship won't last. With both partners trying to get loved and filled by the other, and neither one having learned to love and fill themselves, each will ultimately be disappointed.

Very often, one or both might believe they've picked the wrong partner. When two people come together because they want to learn together, grow together, heal together, share their time and companionship, and share their love and passion, they have a good chance of creating a lasting, loving relationship.

If you tune inside and honestly ask yourself why you want a relationship, and you find yourself on the first list rather than on the second, do not despair. You can learn how to love yourself and fill yourself with love so that you have plenty of love to share with a partner. It's important to realize that we attract people at our common level of health -- which is the level of taking personal responsibility for our happiness and wellbeing -- or at our common level of self-abandonment -- which includes making someone else responsible for our feelings.

Given this reality, you have a far better chance of creating a healthy and loving relationship with a partner when you have a healthy and loving relationship with yourself. Margaret Paul, Ph. To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse , receive Free Help , and take our Week eCourse, "The Intimate Relationship Toolbox" - the first two weeks are free!

For more by Margaret Paul, Ph. For more on conscious relationships, click here. Best-selling author, seminar leader and co-creator of Inner Bonding. News U. HuffPost Personal Video Horoscopes. Newsletters Coupons. Follow Us. Part of HuffPost Wellness. All rights reserved. Huffington Post. Wanting a Relationship in Order to Get.

If you ask people why they want a relationship, many will say things like:. I want someone to love me and make me feel special and worthy. What they might not say outright is that they want a relationship to:. There really is another reason for wanting to be in a relationship. When these people are asked why they want a relationship, they say:. I have a lot of love to give and I want to share it with a partner, who also has a lot of love to give.

Possibly, we might want to have children with whom to also share our love. I want to learn and grow with someone who also wants to learn and grow. I want to share time, companionship, lovemaking, laughter and play with someone with whom I feel deeply connected. Suggest a correction. Newsletter Sign Up. Successfully Subscribed!

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If you are a person who wants to be in a relationship, have you thought about why? Actually, there are two very different reasons for wanting a relationship. The first is about what you want to get, and the second is about what you want to learn and share. Complete them.

The point is that love is not something you find, it is something you become and then choose to share. It is not a label, but it is a choice. Love is all there is; well, love and fear.

I gets lots and lots of mails from people, especially women, who tell me that they need love so much or that they want someone to love them. Sometimes this mail states the problem directly and sometimes it states it indirectly. The need to be loved is in fact the main reason some people feel bad after breakups and not their love towards the person they broke up with!! Those people usually say things such as "I just want to know if he loved me or not" after breakups, and in fact, as soon as they realize that they were loved they get over the person in no time!!

16 Reasons You Still Don’t Have The Love You Want

Everything seemed like it was going according to plan. But then, like a cruel twist of fate, things began to change. My friend wasn't sure if she wanted, needed, or loved her partner anymore. At the time, I was pretty taken aback by her frankness. And, after a minute or two of awkward silence on the phone, this is how I broke it down for her:. Just because you can't get enough of someone now, though, doesn't mean that they'll fulfill you over time, or that they'll satisfy you for the right reasons. This is the instant pull you might feel toward somebody after an amazing first date.

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Oct 10, - I want someone to love me and make me feel special and worthy. There really is another reason for wanting to be in a relationship. Wanting a Very often, one or both might believe they've picked the wrong partner.

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Comments: 3
  1. Sazshura

    True idea

  2. Arakus

    In it something is also to me it seems it is good idea. I agree with you.

  3. Vigal

    It is exact

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