Girlfriend gets upset at everything
You may be on your best behavior and you may be saying everything you need to say, but your ex is still angry at you. That person is you. As long as you are in her life, she is going to feel angry at you. The intensity of her anger, of course, depends on the emotions you evoke. Anger consists of defensive emotions intended to defend oneself. An ex-girlfriend experiencing anger feels opposed, mistreated or hurt.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Dealing With Cranky, Grouchy & Irritable Women
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You may be on your best behavior and you may be saying everything you need to say, but your ex is still angry at you. That person is you. As long as you are in her life, she is going to feel angry at you. The intensity of her anger, of course, depends on the emotions you evoke.
Anger consists of defensive emotions intended to defend oneself. An ex-girlfriend experiencing anger feels opposed, mistreated or hurt. She is using anger as a self-defense mechanism with which she tries to protect herself and stand firmly by her beliefs. Exes that feel angry toward you, will be angry regardless of your actions. What matters is the present moment—here and now.
The fact that your ex is feeling angry toward you even though she dumped you indicates she is not in a talkative mood. Everybody in the world is seeking happiness—and there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling your thoughts. It depends on inner conditions. Your ex is angry towards you because she sees you in a different light. For some reason, she was utterly convinced she needed to break up with you so she decided to pull the trigger. Now that you are separated, she perceives you as the person she created you to be and not as a person of value and worthy of respect.
In other words, your ex-girlfriend is like a brain-starved zombie. Her brain signals anger and she projects it toward you. And when you take an interest in her life and well-being, she withdraws and responds with more distance. Your ex-girlfriend is dancing tango with you. When you take a step forward, she takes a step backward. And if by some chance you step on her toes, you immediately feel her pain—probably for days.
Lacking the ability to let go of the past is a destroyer of many reconciliations. Her victim mentality can be blamed for that. Once she comes to the conclusion that she is indeed holding grudges, she can then begin to re-examine her behavior toward you and life in general. A person that lacks the mental capacity to make rational decisions will never be able to let go of the past.
Your ex will be stuck in breakup limbo, experiencing the same negative emotions over and over again. For example, a sensible person being in any type of pain would eventually get curious and find the cause of his or her pain and act upon it. The reason for that is because anger feels so empowering, people naturally feel inclined to blame others for the way they are feeling.
It takes an open-minded person to willingly aspire to do some soul-searching. Depressed people are. Everybody knows human beings are different on the outside as well as the inside. Some people are nice, others are mean. Some are kind-hearted, others evil. Because your ex grew up with certain beliefs, she thinks and feels in a way that she has been taught.
When she grew past the teenage years, she started using her own head and, coincidentally, reinforced her beliefs and patterns she formed a child. Assuming your ex is an adult, she is now solely responsible for her own thoughts—which create emotions.
Your ex-girlfriend may have been raised differently and grew up with different morals and beliefs in a completely different environment. Breakups bring out the worst in people. As long as she was in a relationship with you and cared about you, she had to have been on her best behavior. The moment she ended her relationship with you, she no longer had to worry about what you think of her.
Finally, her true colors protruded through the surface and you finally got to meet your now ex-girlfriend at her worst. In such cases, anger enables people to act completely on instinct. As a result of their new-found power, angered people become unrecognizable even to those that know them. What Elie Wiesel really means with his line is that when a person is in love and gets angry, she expresses emotions and therefore inadvertently shows she cares not necessarily about you.
That would surely anger her. Because of indifference, one dies before one actually dies. There is indeed a thin line between love and hate and one can sometimes jump from one to another. This is way, way, way more often seen in relationships than breakups.
I have personally worked with hundreds of clients and I can tell you that anger is not beneficial to getting back together with your ex. As you know from the first point in this article, opposing an angry ex brings about more anger and frustration. A dumper that has no ability to understand herself and her emotions is missing key elements to eliminating anger.
How you act and react is completely in your hands. The same goes for your ex. Because your ex is furiously angry, she lacks the knowledge and willpower to ask herself some important questions.
One of the most successful ways of solving problems is to use the 5 Whys technique. If your ex ever feels the need to stop feeling angry, all she has to do is ask herself some important questions. How can I feel better? Do I have the right to project my anger toward my ex-boyfriend? As you know, there are two sides to every story. Subjectively looking upon her past relationship angers your ex even if she ended it with you. So when she takes her side of the story and converses with her friends or family, she indeliberately completes her story.
Bystanders always first stick with the person complaining and ranting. Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. In fact, any deliberate attempts to soothe her hatred will only result in disappointment.
Angry exes want peace and quiet. They want exactly the opposite of what you feel the most tempted to do. She is not in a receptive state for you to do so. All the points in this article apply to an ex that is still angry at you months or even years after the breakup. Her mentality is simply too fragile and underdeveloped to see you in a better light. This should make you think twice about whether you should attempt to be friends or even more with this person. Yes, anger toward you also requires healing.
There is no other way to crawl back in her heart. Slow and steady may win the race when you start your own business or when you desire a promotion but not in breakups. Creeping into her subconscious mind occurs when you are not trying to change her mind. Any direct attempts only manifest the opposite of the desired effect.
Changing her mind directly is not going to happen. You can, however, do your best to influence her. This means you stay away from her and let her watch from afar.
Your ex, like most exes, will probably start socializing with new people and do some new activities. The more you show her you enjoy your life without her, the more envious she could become and the more you will actually appreciate your life on Earth.
Whether she realizes your amazingness or not is a win-win situation for you. Jealousy oftentimes brings people back together and breaks them apart as well. Tying to change an angry ex that dumped you is likely going to hurt you and slow down your recovery.
Instead of trying to change your ex, step away from that which hinders your recovery and change yourself. If you influence your angry ex by leaving her out of the picture, she could become receptive to jealousy and envy. So if your ex blocks you, retrace back to the beginning of the article and read the 2nd point again.
When your ex dumps you, gets angry and acts like a victim, she will subconsciously pick fights with you. Avoid petty conversations and asking her the questions that will infuriate her. Be your best self—the person you, your friends and your family would be proud of. Your ex will try her very best to annoy and irritate you with her anger and bitterness.
Instead of thinking about her behavior, she is instead reacting to your actions and inactions and expects you to feed her ego by validating her existence. She expects you to lower yourself to her level so that she can run away when you have an emotional meltdown. You should also remember that fighting anger with anger creates much of the same.
Alternatively, pacifying an ex often requires a different strategy—the mind over matter approach. In breakups, your mind is the key and your emotions are your enemy. In this way, you will maximize your chances and achieve the most you possible can with your angry ex. You wish to win your ex over with as little trouble, effort and hurt as possible.
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We have all had toxic people dust us with their poison. Being able to spot their harmful behaviour is the first step to minimising their impact. There are plenty of things toxic people do to manipulate people and situations to their advantage.
Or you think she is. You don't know. You're tired of this cycle. I get it. But we're still going to be mad.
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However, no matter what the argument is about or how mad your girlfriend is feeling at you, there are some things that you should avoid saying to her…. When a woman is mad at her boyfriend, the last thing that she wants to do is calm down, relax and explain why she is feeling that way. For example: A guy might be in the habit of always putting his girlfriend second and not giving her enough time and attention. He might often cancel plans with her at the last minute, or hang out doing nothing with his friends rather than spending a bit of time with her. When he tells her that he has to cancel, she gets angry and hangs up on him, or refuses to talk to him when he gets home or calls her the next day. What did I do? I had to work late. What do you expect me to do? Leave work so I can be with you?
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Sure, they teach us the biology of sex, the legality of marriage, and maybe we read a few obscure love stories from the 19th century on how not to be. But part of the problem is that many unhealthy relationship habits are baked into our culture. We worship romantic love — you know, that dizzying and irrational romantic love that somehow finds breaking china plates on the wall in a fit of tears somewhat endearing — and scoff at practicality or unconventional sexualities. Men and women are raised to objectify each other and to objectify their relationships. Thus, our partners are often seen as assets rather than someone to share mutual emotional support.
Sure, they teach us the biology of sex, the legality of marriage, and maybe read a few obscure love stories from the 19th century on how not to be. But part of the problem is that many unhealthy relationship habits are baked into our culture. We worship romantic love — you know, that dizzying and irrational romantic love that somehow finds breaking china plates on the wall in a fit of tears somewhat endearing — and scoff at practicality or unconventional sexualities. Thus our partners are often seen as assets rather than someone to share mutual emotional support.
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Subscribe To Our Newsletter! The last thing you want to deal with is a pissed off girlfriend, but it does happen. When you care about someone, there are bound to be emotions on the rise.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: I Pretended To Be DEAF To Hear What People Say About Me. Shock!
There is nothing more dreadful or frustrating when your girlfriend is angry or sad. When you know the reason behind her anger, it is easier to help her calm down. But when you have no idea why she is pissed, it becomes tough to handle her emotions that are on the rise. In such a scenario, you need to think and act wisely to deal with your angry girlfriend and do not let her stay mad. Read further to know some amazing ways to comfort your girlfriend and make her smile.
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Both men and women do this. But you can learn how to navigate these differences, and have the relationships with women that other men envy. So oftentimes, when we find out our girl is upset about something, our first reaction is to figure out why and how we can stop it. We all get trapped in our emotions for time to time and can use a little outside help. So rather than tell her what to feel or what to do, console her.
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Updated: March 5, Reader-Approved References. When your girlfriend is upset, there are two parts to comforting her. She will need to feel emotional support through the things you say. Also, she will need to feel secured through the physical support that you give her.